A Personal Hell

Acedia stared up at the ceiling, watching the wood spin.

Her head was hurting.  She remembered being hit.  Three times, even though the first had stunned her.  She’d been useless, yet again.  And her reward was a beating.

A head popped up in front of her vision.  A woman.  A familiar woman.  Acedia searched her ringing head for where she’d seen that person before.

“I brought some medicine, revered one,” the woman said.  “The master said you wouldn’t be able to speak for a while because of the spell they hit you with, but I brought some soup as well.  Perhaps it could clear your throat.”

That brought it together.  The woman who’d collided with her that day.  How ironic.  She was going to be killed by satanists.  There was probably a parable here.  One she didn’t want to learn.

The woman shifted her to a sitting position, sending new jolts of pain through Acedia’s body.  At least her wings were free.  She tried to stretch them, but she only managed a spastic twitch.  She let her eyes fall on the woman to show her disapproval, but the woman remained blissfully ignorant.

“I’m Yvonne.  I’m an acolyte.”  She smiled sadly.  “The weakest acolyte I’m afraid.  But I’ll do my best to help you, revered one!”

Acedia tried to sigh, but all she managed was a hiss as pain shot through her again.  What had they hit her with?

Yvonne nodded in sympathy.  “I’m sorry.  The pain should be gone soon though.  Here.”  She held a spoon in front of Acedia.  “Eat this.”

Acedia looked at it for a moment, deciding if she had the strength to eat.  Or maybe she wanted the strength to resist eating?  After a moment’s thought she gave up on that reasoning and just accepted the offering.

The soup was good.  The broth was strong enough to taste the chicken that had been cooked down, and Yvonne had let it cool a bit before serving it.  Probably not enough for a human, but Acedia was better with heat then mortals.

Yvonne continued spooning over soup as she chattered.  “It must have been terrifying, being so close to a magical battle.  And I hear you suffered so many times.  It’s been scary for all of us really, with the angel murdering people.”

Acedia wanted to question the woman on that, but when she tried to bring it up she could only croak.  How pathetic.  She was literally in a room with someone willing to tell her their entire plot, and she couldn’t ask questions.

Through some dark miracle Yvonne managed to guess what she wanted to know though.  “Ah!  You don’t need to worry about the angel.  The master has a plan!  A great plan!”  The woman’s eyes shone with happy fanaticism as she continued.  “We’re going to create a greater revered one to defeat it!  The master has said they’ll be done by tomorrow evening!”

Tomorrow evening?  Well that was a problem.  Acedia didn’t really have a problem with a fallen angel killing that fake angel.  Or either of those real angels.  But she had a feeling the killing wouldn’t stop there.

“The master said with the revered one under our control we can finally get out of the shadows.  The poor foolish ones who trusted the government died because there wasn’t a threat against the angels.”  Yvonne paused to spoon out more soup.  “But with a greater revered one on our side, no one will dare threaten us.”

Yvonne’s words were nonsense, but the soup was really helping.  The ceiling wasn’t spinning anymore, and the pain had gone from piercing to simply dull.  Perhaps it was the woman’s faith that was helping her heal.  Or maybe her nature wasn’t letting her die.  Either way this could be useful.

There was a squeak as the door opened.  Acedia had recovered enough to turn her head and look at the new cultist.

This woman radiated a power and authority Yvonne didn’t.  Her black hair was carefully groomed to frame her dark eyes, and her robes had been tailored for easy movement while still revealing a striking figure.  Yvonne immediately bowed.  “Master.”

“Thank you for your work Yvonne,” the woman said.  “I’m afraid that I must reward you with tragic news.  Blake died of his burns.”

Yvonne gasped, dropping the bowl.  “No!  No….”  Acedia’s wings twitched in sympathy as the woman burst into tears.  Of course she’d have killed the nice woman’s friend.  Well Helena had done it, but the only reason Helena was there was because of her.

The master patted Yvonne on the shoulder.  “Go to him.  I will heal the demon while you pay your respects.”

“Your pardon revered one,” Yvonne said as she picked up the bowl and staggered out.

As soon as the door shut the master’s face twisted into smug disdain.  “Well, now that fool is out of the way.”  She tapped Acedia’s chest and the pain vanished.  “Let’s chat, little demon.”

Acedia’s eyes flickered to where the all too nice satanist had left.  “She’s your backup sacrifice isn’t she.”  She’d heard stories of cults that raised members to be pure enough to serve as sacrificial offerings.

“Clever,” the woman smiled down at her.  “Yes.  The best position for someone so thoroughly stupid, yet incredibly powerful.  Though unfortunately we’re going to have to use our backup this time.”

“I hope one of you develops morals and sabotages the whole thing,” Acedia muttered.  That was the usual result of that horrible scheme.  Most humans couldn’t happily raise other humans like animals then slaughter them.

“You aren’t really showing your loyalty to the forces of darkness,” the woman said with a pout.  A finger tapped on Acedia’s chest and agony washed through her body.  She screamed and blacked out.

A second later her vision returned, wavey through the tears but enough to make out the woman had a knife drawn.  Acedia stared at the blade duly while the woman twirled it.  “Normally I wouldn’t worry about you at all.  You’re a sin demon of acedia.  Those are generally as threatening as a dead cat.  But I can see your sense of self wavering.  Somehow traveling around with a witch and a zombie had made you consider ‘redemption’ or some such nonsense.”

Redemption?  Acedia almost spat a refusal at the woman.  She didn’t want to be redeemed.  She wanted to be free.  To be unchained by human will.

But she was still useless.  Still helpless, and as she looked at the runes of the dagger she began to realize she was going to be more useless than ever.

“I should have left you,” the woman continued, “but you were in between the jiang-shi and the witch.  And the witch needed to die first.  As a fellow magician I know how foolish it is to leave one alive.”  She smiled, and there was no humor in it.  “But since I’m a nice woman I left them to die together.  Well one to die and the other to rampage until she’s killed.  That’s similar.  They were locked in a sweet embrace as we left, so they obviously agreed.”

Acedia’s heart sank.  Two more people dead because of her.  And that meant there was no rescue.  No one was coming to stop this madness.  She stared up at the ceiling.  She was less than useless.  She was a millstone around everyone else’s neck.  Gula, Camila, Helena.  They’d all died wasting their time helping her.

Pain shot through her as the woman yanked her hair to force her to face her tormentor.  “As I was saying,” she growled, “my good deeds have given me some reward.  The ambush killed off the two fools that were being overly sentimental.  But I need to keep Yvonne pure and innocent, or at least charitable, for one more day.  And you, little demon, are going to help me.”

The runes on the blade glowed a hateful red, and then the woman slammed it into Acedia’s stomach.  There was no pain, no, just a hateful numbness as her pathetically limited will was consumed.  Chains of runes encircled her body, waiting for the commands that would bind her.

“My first binding is you will not attempt to escape,” the woman intoned.  Acedia watched the runes flair and chain her ankles.  “The second binding is you shall not speak a word of what you know of my plans to anyone.”  This time her tongue was chained.  “The third binding is you will do what little you can to console Yvonne and keep her ready for the sacrifice.”

The last chains wrapped around her heart and the tears finally started.  Again her heart was bound by human will.  Again her being was someone else’s tool.

The woman withdrew the knife and Acedia mustered what little will she had left to spit at her.  “Three bindings?  You’re a miserable magician.”

“I don’t need more for you,” the woman sneered.

The hateful cultist stood.  “If you do well, I’ll let you become a piece of our fallen angel.  Perhaps the wings.”  She turned her back, and for a single moment Acedia wished she had the power to kill someone.  “I’ll be sending Yvonne here.  Be nice to her.  She’s suffered a terrible shock.”

Acedia pushed herself off the bed, then collapsed as the invisible binds around her feet snapped shut.  She tried her wings, but the mystic binding held there as well.  The cultist laughed at her before sashaying right out the door, leaving Acedia to seethe on the floor.  How could she be so useless!

She lay there, staring at the floor for a long while.  So this was what happened when she tried.

The door opened slowly and Yvonne entered the room again.  Acedia managed to look up enough to see the tear lines on the woman’s face.  “Ah!  Revered one.  Are you alright?!”

“I’m not dead,” Acedia said.  She wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

“Let me help you up,” Yvonne said, rushing forward.  The woman lifted Acedia and sat her down on the bed.  “Is that better revered one?”

Acedia shrugged.  It didn’t matter, did it?  She was still helpless.

Yvonne sat next to her.  “It must be hard.  So many people treating us like vermin.  Killing us without reason.”  The woman was tearing up again.  “I… I don’t understand how people can be so brutal!  Why don’t they understand the freedom we offer?!”

Irony dripped from Acedia’s tongue as she replied.  “It’s easy to be fooled by liars offering hope.”

“But then what can we do, revered one?”  Yvonne looked up at her.  “What hope do we have?”

Acedia couldn’t reply.  There was no hope for her.  She just threw her wing around the woman.  As Yvonne broke down and cried, Acedia stewed in her misery.

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