Acedia felt strange. Being dragged around was annoying. Both Helena and Camila were insufferable. And being around angels at all was miserable.
But the constant distractions had been nice. It reminded her of the days Gula dragged her around. As insulting as the comparison was to her sister.
A hand reached down to place a bowl of oranges on the table in front of her. “Help yourself,” Aoi said, before walking over to where Helena was tracing runes in the air. The priestess was odd, Acedia thought. As a demon she could sense the woman’s holy power, but it seemed utterly uninterested in her. She wasn’t a person to be saved, or a monster to be exterminated, but a spirit like any other. One to be watched, but not feared or hated.
She looked up from the table she’d been flopped down on. The shrine maiden had a much nicer house than her friends. It was clean, but well placed ink paintings and screens kept it from being empty. Helena’s runes clashed horribly with it, but that was probably the point. Magic might be symbolic, but it was rarely subtle.
Camila was peering at the runes, like the woman would somehow be able to figure them out. “So! Anything you can tell me about these magicians?”
“I’ve only met Hsu in person,” Helena admitted. “The great magicians here are more paranoid than the ones in the Realm of Illusion. If it weren’t for the assassins I’d probably be getting rusty.” The woman switched between lecturing and aggressive so fast. There was something wrong with her. Not like Acedia was one to talk.
“What fun people,” Camila said. The jiang-shi was obviously trying to trigger a rant, but Helena missed it. With that failed the woman turned to Acedia. “Sorry we gotta leave you here.”
“It’s fine,” Acedia said. She didn’t really want to go listen to magicians act all high and mighty. Sure it was insulting that she wasn’t allowed in, but she’d rather deal with Vaingloria than a room full of wizards.
Helena finished her scribbling. “Honestly I wish I could bring you and Aoi, but then every mage would bring an army. I’m bending the rules a lot just to get Camila in.” The magician stood back and adjusted her bracelet. “We’ll tell you everything important that happens.”
“Thank you,” Aoi said. “Good luck at the conclave. And try not to get into any duels.”
“I only promise no death duels,” Helena replied before she vanished, along with Camila and the runes that surrounded them.
Acedia let herself slump again. There was another reason she didn’t want to go. She could tell at some level, she wasn’t really needed in this investigation. She was dead weight. Like always.
There was a rustle of cloth, then Aoi placed a cup in front of her. “Tea if you want it.” The shrine maiden sat down across from her, her own cup already in hand. “Traveling with Helena must be exhausting, so you should enjoy breaks when you can.”
After a moment Acedia sampled the drink. It was green tea. Not something she’d had often even when Gula was forcing her to eat. “Thanks,” she muttered. She gave the shrine maiden another look over. Another woman who seemed perfectly set in their niche. “You don’t seem like most priests. Normally they kick me off of holy ground by now.”
“I’d hope I’d be different from the priests you usually deal with,” Aoi said. The woman’s smile was less harsh than Helena’s, but more refined than Camila’s. “After all, I serve the gods differently. My goal is to build connections between the heavens and the earth, not abandon humanity. The vice you represent doesn’t really affect my faith.”
“Another thing I’m worthless at. Wonderful.” Acedia stared at the oranges. Those probably were inferior to her. Probably.
Aoi sipped her tea. “It must be hard traveling with those two. Helena’s always had a terrifying drive, and Camila’s optimism is impressive.”
Acedia’s glanced back. The woman was still insufferably cool and collected. “Are you trying to save me too?”
“No,” Aoi replied. “I’m just chatting.” The woman chuckled. “If anything I could use your help. You’re one of the few people who would understand what I’m saying. Helena’s friends are all as impressive as she is, and everyone else… just doesn’t understand. Not like those of us with small gifts.”
“Your gift doesn’t seem small.” The wards around this house were terrifying in scope. Acedia hadn’t been able to walk into the building until Aoi let her.
Aoi slowly nodded. “I suppose not. But, well, you’ve seen Helena fight.”
An involuntary shiver sent Acedia’s wings fluttering. “I hid behind furniture while she fought. I didn’t see anything.”
“Something we have in common,” Aoi said with a sad smile. The shrine maiden looked down into her tea. “It wasn’t even the power really. I know plenty of people who are stronger than her. It was the determination. The single minded drive to defeat her enemy.” She slowly shook her head. “I knew at that moment I could never be her equal in battle. That I didn’t have what it took to be a fighter at all.”
Acedia felt a bit of kinship with the woman, but it quickly died as she looked around the pristine house. “But you can do other things. Hell you own this building. That’s better than what Helena’s managed. And your wards are better than the priests at the cathedral.”
“It’s true. I have strengths as well as weaknesses. But that was the moment when I realized I’d never be the best at everything.” Aoi began pulling her long ponytail. “My mother is still better than me at everything.” The woman’s dark eyes met Acedia’s, locking her in place. “The only thing that makes me special is what I do. Not what I can do.”
The words echoed in Acedia’s head, but they only increased her pain. “I don’t do anything. I sit around and be lazy and miserable. I’m not you. I’m useless at everything.”
Silence fell between the two. Aceida slowly sank into the table, her stomach refusing to even consider the tea in front of her. She didn’t understand anything. She didn’t understand what she didn’t understand. She just knew it was all her fault for being such a failure.
“I suppose the story about the great tree wouldn’t help,” Aoi eventually said.
Annoyance flashed through Acedia. “I know it. The tree only got so big because it was useless. Otherwise it would have been cut down. But I’m not a huge tree that can shelter people from the storms of life. I’m a demon who can’t even corrupt people.”
“Perhaps. But the useless tree was once a useless sapling,” Aoi said quietly.
Acedia looked away. She felt insulted and miserable now. Couldn’t people just let her suffer in peace! Not try to beat her in an argument? “I thought you weren’t trying to save me?”
“I was just chatting.” Aoi picked up the kettle and topped off Acedia’s cup. “If you want to change the subject you can. Or if you want to you can just enjoy the tea.” The shrine maiden smiled. “After all, if you want to be a better demon you can be a little more selfish.”
Her wings twitched as she remembered better times. Back across the bridge, when they’d first fled hell. Her sisters all together. Superbia and Vaingloria fighting over something petty. Ira screaming obscenities over the internet. Luxuria trying to get a rise out of Invidia. Avaricia trying to get rich quick. And then Gula. The one that held them together. Her wonderful sister that would take the time to offer fresh baking to a miserable mess like her. “You’re a demon Acedia. You can be a little more selfish.”
Her eyes stung as tears started to form, but she hid them by draining the tea. The hot liquid filled her stomach, quelling some of the pains.
She did her best to wipe her eyes as she placed the cup down. “More please.”
“Of course,” Aoi said as the woman poured another cup.