Interesting Times

Gold Rat Wizard Hsu chuckled happily as he sat down in the restaurant.  “I see my fears were unfounded.  You lived up to your name Curse Gunner.  And since you handled the job with only police help, my associates now view you as a valued resource within the community rather than a stepping stone to their own ambitions.”

“Isn’t that nice,” Camila said.  “I bet they said nothing about me.”

“Your situation is unique for jiang-shi.  Explaining it to people who only know the most basic of details is difficult,” Hsu said.  “They assume your success is Helena’s success, and I doubt you wish to spend the time to correct them.”

Helena shrugged.  “Indeed.  Why should we waste our time when you can do it for us?  By the way we want two of everything on the menu.”

Hsu’s smile twisted.  “Three of everything and that is my final offer.”

“Ahn.” Camila leaned over and whispered, “This doesn’t feel like winning.”

“Oh it is a victory,” Hsu said.  “A victory over certain foolish businessmen who nearly caused our entire collective to slide into chaos and disarray.”

Helena snorted.  “Not to mention the part where several innocent people got murdered and the city nearly rioted.”

“Not to mention that,” Hsu said.

The first dishes arrived and Helena moved to help Camila bend her arms so she could eat.  “This good?”

“Yeah.  Thanks,” Camila replied.

Helena had gotten much better at anticipating when the jiang-shi girl would need her assistance, while Camila seemed a lot less upset about needing that help.  The woman had decided letting Helena deal with minor things like getting dressed would give her more time to practice.  And Helena didn’t really mind the duties.

As Camila started clearing plates Ling Wei Hsu folded his arms.  “While I am certain you do not appreciate the generosity, I should formally state that my business organization does not hold any ill will towards you for the actions you took against them.  In addition they appreciate your assistance in handling the unfortunate repercussions of the matter and consider the business over.”

“I don’t suppose they’ll pay for my apartment’s damages?” Helena asked as she grabbed a steamed fish.

“The taxpayers will front that bill,” Hsu said.

Camila shook her head.  “Lots of thanks but never any money.  You sure you aren’t the government?”

“Don’t inflate his importance,” Helena said as Hsu chuckled happily.

With a sigh Helena pulled out an ivory kirin statue.  “As much as I’d love to insult you for hours, I have something else to do right now.  This is yours isn’t it?”

Hsu’s eyes grew large.  “Ah!  So that arrogant child stole it!”  He took the statuette from Helena and looked it over.  “And you recognized my work that easily.  Hmph.  Well it seems I owe you a personal debt as well.”  The man slipped the statue into his sleeves.  “I thank you for retrieving it before it ended up rusting away in an evidence locker.  I will remember this offering Curse Gunner.”

“It’s worth more than I’m getting paid for this job so you should be happy,” Helena remarked.  At least she’d gotten something out of it.  Gold Rat Wizard Hsu was one to pay his debts, even if he was a crook.

“You need to negotiate better,” Camila remarked.  “And you need to find richer bosses.”

“Thanks,” Helena muttered.  She didn’t like being reminded she was once again unemployed, with no references to show for it.  Instead she turned her attention back to Hsu.  “I’m also going to get rid of the spy in the police department.”

Hsu raised an eyebrow.  “Since we do not have a spy, I see no reason why my business group should care.  Do as you wish.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Helena said.

“Wait, the spy?  Who?  And how did you find out?” Camila asked.  “Sounds like a fun mystery.”

“You’ll see,” Helena replied.  “As to how I found out? It was one part educated guess, five parts cheating, and ten parts swearing for not making the obvious connection.”

---

“Five hundred dollars, as we agreed on,” Jacobs said as he handed over the bills.  “And I’m glad to see you gone.  Please take all your junk out of that office you stole on your way out.”

Camila smirked.  “Super grateful, isn’t he?”

“I told you at the start you’d have been better off with a priest,” Inspector Kilduff said behind the captain.

Helena pocketed the money and nodded.  “He really would have.”  She pulled out a sheaf of papers and tossed them on the desk in front of her.  “Because a priest wouldn’t have noticed the communication spell you used to warn Long Zhou Di about that last raid.  Which means no one would have found the blackmail material he was using on you.”

Captain Jacobs stared at the papers.  “What are-“

“What are these?  Well these files prove you covered up the murder of four detainees in the Central Jail.  These are the documents that let Long Zhou Di smuggle Camila here into the Immigrant Realm, with your signatures on them.  Oh yes, and this is the mystical artifact that you used to warn the Living Dragon about the raids.”  Helena pointed to each bit of evidence in turn.  “I’m sure the Inspector will find more when he starts a full investigation, but that should serve nicely for your arrest.”

Helena allowed herself a smug grin as everyone stared at the items.  Camila was surprised, while Jacobs’ face was a mask of horror.  Only Kilduff looked unaffected, but Helena could tell the Inspector was thinking a mile a minute.

Camila was the first to recover.  “Busted!  Too bad there’s no camera for posterity.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Captain Jacobs shouted.  “No one will believe this-“

There was a sharp clack as Inspector Kilduff placed a cuff on the Captain’s hand.  “Sir, I’m placing you under arrest for criminal conspiracy.  You have the right to remain silent-“

“Are you insane?!” Jacobs yelled.  “You can’t possibly believe this witch’s crazed allegations!”

“Anything you say or do can be held against you.”  The Inspector finished cuffing the man.  “And just between you and me sir, everyone knew you were corrupt as the Devil himself.  But I never thought you’d stoop this low.  You endangered your own men, Captain.”

Jacobs snarled in fury.  “You don’t have anything like proof.  You know none of this can be used as evidence!  It was all stolen!”

“Copied actually.”  Helena reached out and swiped a key from the Captain’s pocket.  “I wasn’t sure if there were rules about evidence so I left the originals there.  You’ll find them when you open his safe deposit box.  Three hundred eighty two.”  She tossed the key to the Inspector.

He caught it and gave her a nod.  “Thank you kindly.  I’ll handle it from here.”

“Later,” Camila said with a stiff wave.  She hopped over to look Jacobs in the eye.  “When I see you next time I’ll probably have enough control to cripple you without snapping your neck.  Just something to think about while you rot in jail.”

“Please don’t plot crimes while I’m in the room, lass,” Kilduff muttered.

“I’m sure we’ll meet later, Inspector,” Helena said before turning and walking out onto the police station floor.  The paper pushers behind their desks ignored her as she headed out the front, oblivious to both her and the arrest of their Captain.  It was somehow fitting.

As they walked out the front door Camila tapped Helena on the shoulder.  “Well that was fun!  What’s next?”

“Next we meet up with my friends, have a victory celebration, and then I move back into my apartment.”  She looked over at Camila.  “We’ll need to look into finding you a place to stay as well.”

“Yeah, about that,” Camila smiled.  “You’re the only person I know.  And we’ve still got a magical link, even if you don’t control it.  What do you say to becoming roommates?”

Helena blinked in surprise.  Then she shrugged and smiled in return.  “Sure, if we can talk the landlord into it.  He might be a little suspicious about zombies.”

“It’s cool.  I’m not a zombie,” Camila said.

“Oh that’ll fix everything,” Helena replied.  Though honestly Mr. Samuels would probably be fine with it.  The hard part would be convincing the neighbors.  It looked like there were going to be interesting times ahead for her.

But that was okay.  Living in interesting times might be a curse, but curses were her element.