Red Tape

“Absolutely not!” Captain Jacobs thundered.  “Inspector, we can’t use magic as an excuse to get a warrant!  Especially after our raid on the warehouse turned up nothing except a whole lot of rice.  We’ve got Triad lawyers inspecting my colon for ‘racist tendencies,’ and the Commissioner is not happy about it!”

Helena raised an eyebrow as the Captain jabbed a finger accusingly at her.  “And you!  What happened to protective custody?  This is a police investigation, not your magical feud!  If you want to help talk to the officers about proper witness etiquette.”  He whirled back to Kilduff.  “I can’t believe you took her with you on this little farce.  You of all people!”

“I needed to keep an eye on the witch,” Kilduff said simply.  “You’d be a fool if you think that girl would be good and wait anywhere.  I told you that you were dealing with the devil when you started.  Best to accept it and work with it.”

“Besides, this ‘little farce’ got you the information you needed to arrest the Living Dragon,” Helena added lightly.  “Give the Inspector here permission to raid the house I located and you’ll close the case, catch the murderer, and get both me and your boss out of your hair.”

Jacobs glared at her.  “And get my ass reamed for playing fast and loose with the rules again?  No thanks.”

Once again Helena wished she was better at reading people’s minds.  She could tell the man was afraid, but she couldn’t pinpoint the source of his fear.  Unfortunately that made it difficult to manipulate him.  She settled for appealing to his pride.  “Victory excuses all.”

Inspector Kilduff coughed.  “That’s the worst way to say it Captain, but she’s got a bit of a point.  The little trinket is enough for a warrant, so long as we call up a judge who believes in magic.  And we’ve got enough evidence to lock Zhou, no matter what demon lawyer tricks the Triads try to pull.  Chances are they’ll give up after that.  Once they stop playing the papers, the Commissioner will happily forget we exist again.”

“That’s-!”  Jacobs stopped mid rant and began to pace.  Helena watched and waited.  With luck the man had enough political skill to see an easy victory and take it.

Finally the Captain sighed and relaxed.  “You’re right.  If we can pull off this bust we’ll have it handled.  But-!” he turned back to face both of them.  “We’ll do it following all the rules!  I’m going to handle getting the warrant personally, and absolutely no interference from you Ms. Aoede!  We’re going to have all our ‘I’s dotted and ‘T’s crossed.  Got it?!”

“Alright sir, but you know we have a leak,” Kilduff said.  “The witnesses we managed to grab said they started running the second we started to move.  I can explain the case to the judge faster, so-“

“I’m not budging on this Inspector,” Jacobs replied.  “That’s how we’re handling this case, got it?  The SWAT team will move only on my orders.”

Kilduff’s face scrunched up into a grimace, but the man nodded.  “Yes sir.”

“Do you get it as well?” Jacobs said, staring at Helena.

“No.  But it doesn’t matter since I can’t arrest anyone.”  Helena stretched.  “I’ll just call my friends and wait for your mistake to come back and bite you.”

“Get out,” Jacobs snapped and Helena obliged.

As Inspector Kilduff exited she looked up at him, “The wisdom of the Spartans and the leadership of the Athenians.”

“You’d best listen to him this time,” Kilduff growled.  “If you get in another duel with the man it’ll look this was all just a mage brawl and we were your patsies.  We need solid evidence to put the bastard away.  And that means a warrant.”

“You know the only evidence we need are those jiang-shi,” Helena snapped.  “And now is our best chance of grabbing them.  In a few days he’ll have moved his workshop again.”

Kilduff rubbed his forehead.  “I know lass, I know.  The captain will come around.  He’s got enough people screaming at him that he’ll crack.  He’s a coward and rotten at the core, but the Commissioner scares him more than the criminals.  A bit of fear will get him to do his job.  Then my lads can put the murderer in cuffs.”

Helena frowned, but she didn’t know what to say.  Her first instinct was to act.  To handle the problem herself.  But the rule of law was one of the good things about living in this realm.  Breaking it for her own benefit would only hurt her in the long run.  Apollo and his agents were much better at manipulating people then she was.

Her mind hunted for an answer as the problem gnawed at her.  She wracked her brain for a trick or spell that would let her go fight the Living Dragon.  But nothing seemed to work.

In the end she had to face a bitter truth.  She didn’t know enough about the rules.  The law was useful to her, but she had only learned the letter of the rules.  The intricate interlocking traditions that turned a set of words on paper into a well regulated system were as opaque to her as the clockwork birds her friend Lyudmila built.  She didn’t understand the mindset.  Which meant she didn’t know how to manipulate it.

Defeated, she turned to the Inspector.  “Is there anything I can do?”

“Wait and do whatever it is you do to prepare,” Kilduff said.  After a moment he added, “Or you could atone for your sins and take up the clergy, but that’s a faint hope.”

“I’m already in the clergy,” Helena replied.  She stretched then started towards the stairs.  “I’ll return to my current quarters and prepare some more spells then.  The next time the Living Dragon and I meet, both of us will be at full strength.”

Kilduff shook his head.  “A joyous thought.  One that will keep me up at night for sure.  Well, speak to the duty officer if you need to go out for food.  I’ll go make sure the city doesn’t collapse into chaos.”

“Good luck,” Helena said as she walked away.

She walked back up to the room she’d been given and mentally lit the light bulb before flopping down on the couch.  The desk was cluttered with all the items she’d dragged from home, but the room itself was still barren.  The halls outside were bustling with activity, but the police were all busy with their own affairs.  No one had time to chat with a hired witch.

Normally when things were this bad she’d seek out one of her friends in the city, or talk with Shannon and Moses.  But she couldn’t do that now.  Wandering the city alone was asking to be attacked.  And while Helena was certain she could survive an assassination attempt, her friends might not be as lucky.  Only Aoi could defend herself in a magical duel, and the shrine maiden loathed combat.

Helena looked down at the hand mirror lying on the desk.  There was one other person she could talk to.  But she’d wanted to have better news first.  Lyudmila was going to rake her over the coals.

Then again Lyudmila was a witch too.  And she was better than Helena at Chinese magic and persistent spells.  To be totally honest Lyudmila was just better than Helena when it came to magical theory.  Helena naturally gravitated towards curses, elementalism, and necromancy.  Lyudmila was an academic.  Maybe she’d know something that Helena had overlooked.

That decided it.  Helena stuck the mirror to the wall with a simple spell, then stared into the glass, past the reflection.  She imagined Lyudmila’s face.  The woman’s short green hair that revealed her fey ancestry.  Her piercing brown eyes, and thin mouth that could twist into a smile or judgmental frown faster than the wind.  She sent power into that image.  Not a lot, but enough for a magician to notice.

After a few seconds she got a response.  Power being sent back along the channel.  The mirror darkened to matte black as her power melded with Lyudmila’s.  A few minutes later her friend’s face appeared in the mirror, just as Helena had envisioned.  She was frowning, which didn’t bode well.

“So Helena, what trouble have you gotten yourself into this time?” Lyudmila asked in the mixture of Greek and Ruthenian they’d patched together over their childhood.

“Why are you assuming I’m in trouble?” Helena asked.  Sure it was true, but the question made it sound like she was always in trouble.

“Because you’re calling me on a hand mirror instead of that full body mirror you like,” Lyudmila said.  “That means you somehow broke the mirror so badly you couldn’t fix it with magic, or you’re on the run.”  Lyudmila glared at her.  “Now explain.”

Helena shook her head.  “You’re too good at this Lyudmila,” she muttered.  “Still, you’re not entirely right.  I’m not on the run, I’m in sanctuary.  Someone got mad at me and tried to murder me in my sleep.  I decided it was a good idea to find a safer place to live until I killed them.”

Lyudmila heaved a great sigh.  “Helena, it’s been less than six months since you got in a death duel with another mage.  What did you do this time?”

“It wasn’t supposed to end up like this,” Helena protested.  “I was simply hired to find out what killed a man, and who was responsible.  The death match was purely his fault.  I didn’t send any assassins after him.”

Lyudmila rubbed her eyes.  “So why didn’t you contact me about this earlier?  I thought my best friend might tell me when she’s got some crazy new job.  Especially given all the complaining you’ve done about finding work.”

Helena felt her cheeks flush with shame and looked away to hide it.  “I didn’t want to brag before I had the money.  It would have been embarrassing to say I had a job and then tell everyone it had fallen through.”

“Seriously, Helena…” Lyudmila grimaced.  “Well I suppose I can understand a little.”  Her friend’s face smoothed out.  “All right.  Give me the full story.  I’m not letting you solo this one.”

“You may not have much choice,” Helena replied, “but I’ll tell you the details.”

Helena ran through what had happened, doing her best to tell Lyudmila everything.  Her friend nodded along, showing surprise at the revelation of the jiang-shi, then annoyance when Helena recounted the meeting with Ling Wei Hsu.  “So you’re saying if we help you’ll get in even more trouble?  What the hell kind of bargain is that Helena?”

“It isn’t a bargain.  It’s a threat,” Helena said.  “Anyway let me finish.”

“Fine,” Lyudmila replied.

Helena continued, explaining how they found the warehouse, then the ambush.  Lyudmila blanched as Helena sheepishly recounted how the jiang-shi pair beat her, but she didn’t interrupt.  Finally Helena explained her current problem.

“So, I don’t suppose you know how to get out of a mess of red tape so I can actually duel this Living Dragon?” Helena asked.

“That’s your question?”  Helena flinched back as Lyudmila exploded at her.  “You’re in a fight with a magician you know almost nothing about.  A magician who has not one but two jiang-shi.  He, on the other hand, knows you well enough to attack your home.  On top of that he’s skilled enough to dodge one of your trickier spells.  And all you have for backup is a police officer who hates witches, and an organization wrapped up in its own rules, while he’s got all the money of a crime syndicate and the aforementioned unstoppable undead horrors.  And you’re asking me if I can help you get in a fight?”

“Yes?”  She held up a hand to stop Lyudmila’s outburst.  “Look Lyudmila.  I’m sorry I didn’t contact you earlier when everything went sour.  But I wasn’t thinking straight, and there wasn’t time either.  Besides, you can’t fight beside me.  I told you what Gold Rat Hsu said.”

“So?” Lyudmila.  “Kseniya and I can handle anything that pompous ass tosses at us if we decide to come.  Face it Helena, this is about your pride, not any danger!”

“I know you have a hard time understanding this Lyudmila but in a city there’s a lot of ways to die,” Helena replied.  “And a lot of bad things that can happen to your friends.  If the Triads go after me… it’ll be messy.  I don’t know if that’s a fight I can win, even with your help.  And a lot of innocent people will die.”

Lyudmila motioned behind her.  “You could move here.  There’s room at our house.  Work as well.  Even if you’re worried about Apollo’s minions you could just hide out for a century or so.”

Lyudmila was probably right.  If she left the realm completely the Triads and Long Zhou Di would forget about her.  She forced herself to mull that over in her mind, to see things from Lyudmila’s point of view….

But her mind rejected that.  The very thought made her angry.  “All right.  It is my pride.  Getting driven out of my city by a single mage, just because he got a lucky shot in…”  Hot rage flowed through her.  “The nerve of him!  Attacking me in my sleep!  Trying to terrorize me with his undead thugs!  I can’t stand that type of scum!”  She noticed miasma trickling from her left hand in response to her anger and took a few breaths to calm down.

“It reminded you of that time we got attacked as kids?” Lyudmila asked softly.

The words felt like a needle being jabbed into her skin, but it was true.  “Yes,” Helena replied.  “Without the satisfaction of killing the bastard.”

Lyudmila nodded in understanding.  “I think I understand.”  She thought for a moment.  “Alright.  I’ll be over in a day or two.”

“Wait!” Helena grabbed the mirror.  “Didn’t I just say you couldn’t help?”

“I can’t fight with you,” Lyudmila replied, “but I can and will help.  Information gathering should be fine.  Maybe I can add some sanity to your plans too.  I’m your friend Helena.  I’m not going to sit this out.”

It was embarrassing, but the idea appealed to Helena.  Unfortunately there were a few problems with the plan.  “I appreciate it but I don’t think I’ll be able to convince the police to let me open up a witch hotel.”  She waved at the small office she was now living in.

Lyudmila smirked.  “Which is why I’ll be staying at Aoi’s place.”  Helena blinked in surprise as Lyudmila continued.  “We’ve been plotting against you ever since the last incident, Helena.  I don’t know if Kseniya will make it.  We do have our own work.  But I’m sure she’ll try to help as well.”

“You two…” Helena shook her head, but she was smiling.  “You’re getting way too worked up about this, but fine.  Meddle if you want to.”

“Meddle?”  Lyudmila glared through the mirror.  “I don’t want to hear about meddling from you!  And don’t give me that nonsense about ‘all witches meddle’ or ‘it’s in the blood.’  Your aunt Circe doesn’t do this kind of nonsense.”

Helena sniffed derisively.  “If you think that my great aunt Circe isn’t manipulating every witch from a realm with roots west of Persia you’re a fool.  She’s just better at it than me.”

Lyudmila shook her head and shrugged.  “Sure.  Well whatever.  I’ll be there soon.”  She relaxed a bit.  “Is there anything I can do for you right now?  I imagine it’s fairly dull sitting around in a government building.  Want to borrow a book?”

“I’ll grab something from home later,” Helena said.  “Unless you have a book on jiang-shi creation or eastern necromancy.  The next time we meet Long Zhou Di is going to have his minions with him.  I know the basics, but the basics aren’t good enough.”

“Hm….”  Lyudmila thought about the matter while Helena waited.  “Necromancy is more your specialty, Helena.  I’m not sure how much more I can offer.”

Helena shook her head.  “I work with incorporeal spirits.  And you were better than me at Taoist ritual and ofuda creation.  I was busy learning all the different elemental systems.”

“Yes that’s true,” Lyudmila mused.  “And you can’t take control of the spirits because they’re bound to the body through the jiang-shi ritual.  Too bad.  With all the work this ‘Living Dragon’ put into preserving the bodies the souls of the dead are probably pretty strong.”

“Wait.”  Helena ran that through her mind again.  “Are you saying those people’s souls are still in the jiang-shi?  They’re just getting puppeted around by the control talismans?”

Lyudmila nodded grimly.  “They’re probably in a dream or fugue state, depending on the way he created the jiang-shi, but yes.  It’s how they retain their skills from when they were alive.  And why they’re so dangerous when they go berserk.”

Helena felt her hands clench, and she forced them to relax.  Actual trapped souls?!  She’d thought the jiang-shi were just humanoid weapons.  Like the Brass Man.  But if there were people being enslaved as guides…

Her eyes flickered back up to Lyudmila.  “Is it possible to take control of a jiang-shi from someone?”

“What?!”  Lyudmila’s eyes opened wide, then she cocked her head to the side as she considered the problem.  “Well  yes.  You’d have to work with the trapped soul, and your spell would have to overpower the controlling magician.  And of course you’d be using a talisman seal, so you’d need to attach it to their forehead.  There’s a couple of ways to do it in the tomes I studied, but there are counters as well.  I doubt Zhou has left any textbook weaknesses.”

Helena nodded.  “And if I were to leverage my goddess’ connections to Persephone and Hades?”

Lyudmila shivered.  “Well you’d owe the gods for their help, but…” Lyudmila nodded.  “That would work.  There’s no way any Chinese Taoist has set up countermeasures against divine intervention from the Olympian gods.  Especially not divine intervention combined with modified Taoist magic.  You’re the only witch in existence who could even try to make that spell.”  Lyudmila fixed her eyes back on Helena.  “It will be dangerous though.  You’ll have to place the talismans on their heads personally, and it’ll take a great deal of magic.  Normally I’d say it would be impossible, but again, you’re the necromancer, and I’ve seen how much power you can get from your gods when they aren’t screwing you over.”

“In this case I imagine they’ll happily screw over my enemy first.”  Hades and Persephone considered the creation of undead an attack on their authority.  Also they favored her patron goddess, which made them even more likely to help.  She reached into her hat and pulled out the paper slips she’d bought in Chinatown.  “So, teach me what I’ll need to make the talismans.”

Lyudmila sighed.  “I don’t suppose I can convince you to try a different plan first?”

Helena grinned.  “Not a chance.”  She was going to enjoy watching Long Zhou Di’s own jiang-shi bite his head off.  Turning someone’s hubris against them was a time honored Hellenic tradition.  And freeing two undead slaves in the process just made the deal sweeter.

“Fine,” Lyudmila relented.  “But get some scratch paper first.  Figuring out rune placement is going to take a while.”

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